I’m getting desperate.

As I watch the clock inch closer to 2 a.m., I am Googling “Meditation and Relaxation music” as I curse myself for not drugging myself with Nyquil earlier.

I’m beginning to realize that sleeplessness is an ongoing issue for me and I’m beginning to wonder if I need to completely change  my system/approach to life. I cannot keep running on empty and physically and emotionally crashing. By Friday last week I was sick and slept for the  majority of the weekend, canceling plans and dragging my arse for 3 days. I ended up calling out of work yesterday because I just could not properly function.

I’m supposed to be up in 4 hours and on my way to Baltimore for a client meeting. I have to be well dressed, well groomed and brilliant. The likelihood of anything of that diminishes with each minute that falls away from my potential sleep time and moves closer to my alleged awake time.

Does ANYONE out there have useful tips for a person who has major sleep issues and needs a whole life overhaul?!?! I am now understand why it’s so important to implement a regimented sleep/life routine in children. I will happily blame my parents for these deep-rooted issues.

While I lay in bed for more than an hour, trying all the tricks I’ve learned/been recommended throughout the years, I just kept trying to figure out the best ways to erase the last 26 years of bad habits. Reverse psychology did not work (You’re not tired. Just get up….you want to get up…). Neither did quiet meditation (there is always *something* that makes me want to move/break focus). Counting. Listening to music. Listening to nothing. Breathing differently. Holding my breath. Refusing to open my eyes. Forcing myself to keep my eyes open until I want nothing more than to shut them.

Now I’m listening to weird techno remixes of songs that have nothing to do with relaxation or meditation. Unless I was trapped in a Mortal Kombat video game. (I actually think this might be the Mortal Kombat song. WTF?!)

Why didn’t I take the Nyquil??

ohana means family…

Time is a funny thing– the way we watch it, the way we keep it, the way we measure the significance and depth of something based on how much of it has passed (love seems more credible if it’s lasted over years, decades. Your skill–or relevance–in the workplace can often be based simply on how many years you’ve sat at your desk. Continue reading

cop out.

OK,  so this is a bit of a cop out, but until I have the time/energy to post anything proper about our trip, my tweets about it will have to do. There’s not a lot once we left San Antone/Austin, but at least it’s something. I am so run down and exhausted after this week, I don’t even know what to do with myself. And of course the first time I actually am the one wanting to turn on the TV and watch something, the damn thing breaks (or at least doesn’t work for me…) Maybe we’ll be getting an upgrade on the boob tube after all…

Keep in mind that in order to read these in order, you have to start at the bottom and work your way up. Don’t blame me; blame Twitter. Continue reading

we took a small flight in the middle of the night from one tiny place to another

Well, faithful readers, I’m sorry that I’ve been MIA the past week or so, but D and I were Tejas bound. The trip was a surprise to his parents, so I couldn’t go posting about it on the internets. I hope you didn’t think I was just neglecting y’all (yeah, I said “y’all”)

There is much to report, but not tonight. I must get to bed so I can properly function back in the Cube tomorrow.

Hope the past 10 days have treated y’all well…

One last thought before bed.

There’s a lot I’m not going to miss about having a cat in the apartment. The hairballs are one thing. The incessant meowing when he decides it’s food time is another. The slap, slap, slap in the face when he still thinks it’s food time and I’m dumb enough to believe that it’s still time to sleep. These are not things I particularly love.

But, I will miss the way he will try to fit himself onto the same couch cushion Donnie is on, even though there are 3 other perfectly comfortable ones to choose from, or how he will settle in next to me for the long haul when it comes for some reading, or laptop typing, or TV watching. And OK, maybe I will sort of miss the morning slap, slap, slapping, and even when that slapping turns into biting my snuggie and literally trying to pull me out of bed. Because really, how smart and hilarious is that?

Alright, it’s bedtime now. I have a good feeling about tonight. I think I’ll end up sleeping straight ’til slap time! Weeee!


The romantic in me would like to think that I’ve been up since 2 a.m. because somehow my body is set to the time of another place–some exotic far away city– Paris, maybe, or Barcelona?–and that somehow it is acting out the life I am supposed to be living. I am not awake to be hunched over the computer, trolling the internets waiting for sleep–I am supposed to be picking up the local paper (written in a language I suddenly am able to read), eating croissants and strong coffee. Continue reading

paranormal cat-ivity.

As mentioned before, we’ve taken in my parents’ kitty, Simon for a short stint to get him treatment for this yucky growth that was on his leg. We had him at the apartment for a few days before he went for surgery and he made himself at home from the moment he got here: following us from room to room, meowing for food and rubbing up against our legs, and above all, cuddling with us on the couch. His favorite spot was the ottoman and he would sit between D and I in the evenings when we’d watch TV. Continue reading