I Am Not a Jedi

As noted a billion times on here ,the past few weeks have been insanely busy for both D and me–between work, stuff for the rescue, trying to get more of my own writing “out there”, socializing, and trying to enjoy the summer, our time has been totally tapped. Sadly, this has affected how much we’ve been able to see my family, especially because it can be tricky to carve out time to travel down there that coincides with my dad’s work schedule and with my mom’s trips to the nursing home with my grandmother to see my grandpop.

So it seemed like today would work out perfectly since my dad got done work early and D got out early enough where we could meet for dinner to catch up. (more…)

I’ve been meaning to write (this time I swear), but I’ve been in such a weird place/mental funk, that I’ve been trying to avoid the blog altogether. I know that doesn’t really help me or the blog at all, but fortunately my schedule has been equally insane, so I haven’t had as much time to dwell in my murky mood, at least not on the internets. (more…)

After doing not one, but two back-to-back yoga classes after a 2-week hiatus, I was feeling pretty good about myself, about life. An old friend joined me for both classes and we got to catch up a little outside class. I heard some good road tunes on the drive home–my endorphins were high and felt damn good. Nothing could touch me as I made my way to my apartment, to my husband, the shower, the bed.

And then I saw the sign in the elevator. (more…)

It almost seems inevitable that Mondays will induce a “case of the Mondays”–sluggish behavior, frustration, sensitivity to less-than-ideal situations. Most Mondays, I am willing to accept this and am almost more accommodating to the bullshit, because this day of the week is the universal day of “I don’t want to be doing what I’m doing right now.” There is a solidarity to it, a sort of zen. I can usually coast through Mondays with that global reassurance and an extra cup of tea.

But today was just not one of those days. Today I had a massive case of the OMFG-NO-FAIRS, coupled with I SHOULDN’T EVEN BE HERE TODAY. (more…)

As I watch the clock inch closer to 2 a.m., I am Googling “Meditation and Relaxation music” as I curse myself for not drugging myself with Nyquil earlier.

I’m beginning to realize that sleeplessness is an ongoing issue for me and I’m beginning to wonder if I need to completely change  my system/approach to life. I cannot keep running on empty and physically and emotionally crashing. By Friday last week I was sick and slept for the  majority of the weekend, canceling plans and dragging my arse for 3 days. I ended up calling out of work yesterday because I just could not properly function.

I’m supposed to be up in 4 hours and on my way to Baltimore for a client meeting. I have to be well dressed, well groomed and brilliant. The likelihood of anything of that diminishes with each minute that falls away from my potential sleep time and moves closer to my alleged awake time.

Does ANYONE out there have useful tips for a person who has major sleep issues and needs a whole life overhaul?!?! I am now understand why it’s so important to implement a regimented sleep/life routine in children. I will happily blame my parents for these deep-rooted issues.

While I lay in bed for more than an hour, trying all the tricks I’ve learned/been recommended throughout the years, I just kept trying to figure out the best ways to erase the last 26 years of bad habits. Reverse psychology did not work (You’re not tired. Just get up….you want to get up…). Neither did quiet meditation (there is always *something* that makes me want to move/break focus). Counting. Listening to music. Listening to nothing. Breathing differently. Holding my breath. Refusing to open my eyes. Forcing myself to keep my eyes open until I want nothing more than to shut them.

Now I’m listening to weird techno remixes of songs that have nothing to do with relaxation or meditation. Unless I was trapped in a Mortal Kombat video game. (I actually think this might be the Mortal Kombat song. WTF?!)

Why didn’t I take the Nyquil??

I love how I come back from vacation and life has taken back over, full fucking force. (more…)

So, there’s this gas station that I go to nearby work–prices are fairly reasonable and it’s the least out-of-the-way place outside of Camden (there’s one station in Camden; they don’t display their prices on a large sign like every other place I’ve ever been so you don’t realize they’re 10 cents higher than the local/national average until it’s too late). Another plus is that the service is good and the men who work there are all very nice. (more…)

So I’m still new to this blogging thing and I’m learning what I like and what I don’t. (more…)

Today I’m totally the sidewalk. (more…)

I don’t know why, but I really kind of enjoy the “spam” comments that I get on this blog. It’s just so funny to see the “heatfelt” messages that I get from Wendel’sWeedWhacker.com and AfricanDrummingToday.net. I wonder how my blog gets “hit.” I guess it can be annoying, but I just find it interesting that spammers are beginning to realize that in order to be relevant, they have to add some sort of “personal” touch to make people think the comments are legit.

Is it sometimes job to write “nice” spam comments that actually make senseB I kind of would like that job… it’s as if you’re breathing life/emotion/personality into some sort of voidless bot.

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