To pick up from last week, here are 5 things I’m thankful for:

1. Yoga one for me. My practice had been on a 2-week hiatus due to all the insanity of deadline and various things to do, but I went back last night and was happy I did. I was in such a great mood when I left. It felt really empowering to go reconnect with my body and my yoga routine. I’m heading to class again soon, but tonight is the Bikram. I hope my body is ready for that again!
2. One hop closer. I briefly mentioned before that we passed the first phase of the grant app to get some of our fosters in the Cherry Hill Petco. Last night I completed the app for the 2nd phase. Now it’s a matter of waiting (8-12 weeks of it, apparently).  I’m hoping they might be able push our app through sooner since we’ve been in discussion about this with the store and with the Foundation head, but we’ll see…
3. Write on target. Despite the countless drafts and hours editing, I was able to get out my application for the writing contest I wanted to enter. That makes two for this month! It was a lot of work and I’m not sure if my efforts will be rewarded, but I’m really happy that I followed through with this. That is accomplish enough for me.
4. What’s black and white and read all over? I have quite a few magazines that remain unopen at home. They’re taunting me from atop the coffee table, but it’s giving me a nerdy sense of excitement to know I will FINALLY have the time to read them, cover to cover, this weekend.
5. What the Plug are you looking at? Red Bull has been promoting its Flugtag Event ALL over the place, and I’ve done my best to ignore it. But, after doing spots on Preston and Steve and seeing some stuff about it on the news, I finally let down my guard and am now finding myself get excited for this event. Better yet, it’s RIGHT in my backyard! I look forward to being able to wander around and take plenty of cool photos of this.

I’m really excited for the trip and for the planning. I’m trying to hold off on looking up itinerary stuff until after I get my ticket (for whatever reason, I don’t want to completely believe this is happening until I see that huge, gaping hole in my bank account). But then, all bets are off! I found the perfect book for the occasion, and I look forward to this long holiday weekend where I can settle in to a comfy chair at Barnes and Noble with my trusty laptop,  free wifi, a red velvet cupcake and begin poring through this wonderful little guidebook (I already skimmed it this weekend when D and I stopped in at the Borders in Center City to regroup mid city-wide wander).

This coupled with some other good news has given me some much-needed optimism:

I got an email today informing me the first round of our Petco Foundation application was accepted, which means we’re another step closer to getting our foster buns in the Cherry Hill Petco!

Also, for better or worse, I’ve finally completed my latest writing contest submission. It took several weeks and three drafts, but I think it’s finally at a place I’m OK with. I don’t know if it will win, but I’m at least proud of how far it’s come through my revision (and through the revisions of my many friends who provided feedback!).

So, I’m feeling good today. Let’s hope this will carry in to the rest of the week…

So it seemed like today would work out perfectly since my dad got done work early and D got out early enough where we could meet for dinner to catch up.

True to form, my grandmothers came for the trip–we refer to them as “the Nannys.” One is widowed and the other, as mentioned, is living on her own with my grandfather essentially incapacitated (he has Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s), so my dad brings them out when he can, which is all the time. It is generally a give in that if we are to go somewhere, they are to come, too.

I hate to say that I mind this, but sometimes it can be frustrating, especially when they are in a mood, which is most of the time. Imagine Statler & Waldorf, the two grumpy Muppets who heckle from the balcony on “The Muppet Show”. Similarly, sometimes there antics can be endearing and sometimes they are…not.

Tonight they were not.

Although we were saved from discussing Beckapalooza (did I mention most of my family are  die-hard Fox Newsers?), dinner definitely seemed to be the perfect opportunity for any concerns about our life choices to be aired.

From what I chose to order at dinner (“Who goes to a steak house and doesn’t order steak?” –um, that would be your granddaughter who hasn’t eaten meat in over a year), to my vacation spot choices, everything was up for criticism.

And usually I let this shit roll off my back. I’m not great at that, sure, but I’ve learned more and more that giving in to it only strengthens their insanity and so it’s best to joke back or ignore it altogether.

But then my grandmother really crossed the line with me.

I don’t exactly remember how it came up–I think it was my dad making small talk, and he asked about our rabbits. I said they were doing good, nothing eventful to report.

“Keeping rabbits in the house like that is cruelty to animals,” my grandmother retorted.

“Nanny, they’re domesticated animals.”

“Well, that’s cruel to do.”

“We’ve domesticated cats and dogs… even humans are domesticated.”

“I still don’t think rabbits should be kept in the house. They deserve to be outside. It’s not right. It’s cruel.”

This was the point in the meal where I officially gave up.

I have long since recognized that each individual leads their own life and how they choose to live it may differ significantly from mine. I understand that the choices I make are not the choices that someone else would make. And I have learned a very long time ago that the life I should be living vs. the life that many of my family members think I should be living are two very different, very separate things. And I have done my best to let them have their opinions and to carry on with what I do, always being mindful to not upset their convictions too much.

But this seriously pissed me off. My biggest frustration with her comments/opinion weren’t that she stated them, it was that she wasn’t trying to make conversation or really even hear any sort of explanation: she was passing spiteful judgment and simply letting us know that we are partaking in yet another activity she doesn’t agree with. And, par for course, she’s letting her own hard-headedness and misinformation completely form her granite-solid opinion. I get that, through no fault of anyone, most people don’t know anything about domesticated rabbits or their proper care. Shit, I knew nothing about their proper care when I had my first one.

But I have been working very hard for the past 4 years to right the wrongs of my own ignorance when it came to their care and have become extremely involved in rabbit rescue and general animal rights campaigning. And I have done this at the expense of being considered a weirdo (well, more of a weirdo), and for being considered foolhardy, and bleeding heart, and all the other bullshit stigma that comes when you support something outside of a selfish reason. I have taken animals, specifically rabbits, who have been on the verge of euthanization and found them a home, I have worked to gain extra exposure and funding for the rescue I work with to try and raise the funds needed to build a facility. And thus far, I have raised thousands of dollars for this cause and have put together fundraisiers and have solicited friends and businesses and have organized events and have sent countless letters and emails and have written grants and networked, all for the sake of this cause.  All in the hope of changing public opinion, of saving the lives of animals, of providing a second chance and righting the wrong of animal neglect and abuse.

So to sit there, and have my flesh-and-blood grandmother pontificate over her slab of half raw cow flesh about how I am cruel to animals was one of the more infuriating moments I’ve had in a long time.

I’m just so floored by the blatant disrespect that she, and my other grandmother (who, when Donnie tried to explain why we’re saving rabbits from shelters/providing them with medical care remarked “I don’t know why you just don’t put them down…medical care is so expensive anyway”) have for me and my feelings. And honestly, the age thing is not no longer an palpable excuse for me.  I have countless friends of ALL ages who are not as bigoted, ignorant, or plain rude as this lot.

And even MORE baffling is how they constantly, passive aggresively remark how we barely come around, how they never see us. And all I could think, beyond why the HELL would we take out extra time for you if this is what will come of it, is if you hate every life choice I’ve made SO much, why the FUCK do you want to spend extra time with me?!?!

Arhghghghgh.

Anyway, I’ve probably partially written about 29820983 blogs this past week, but I’ve been too tired/busy/distracted to finish any of them. I can’t believe how much random shit I’ve had to do and how much more of it still needs to be done. But I wanted to get some electronic ink on the screen so those still reading don’t assume me dead or negligent.

So, here’s a quick list of the things that I am obsessing over are currently piquing my interest:

Moozik

I’ve found quite a few punch-in-the-gut songs recently that have been stuck on repeat endlessly. I imagine they’ll be making their way to my fall mix, for those of you who subscribed to my burned CD mailing list…

Broken Social Scene. “Call of Forgiveness”

BBS scene is one of those bands that I know I like and I know puts out good music, but I always unexpectedly find one song by them that catches my ear without me realizing it’s them (e.g., “Anthems of a 17-year old girl”). Heard this on the Paste mix CD (I got D a surprise subscription) and kept throwing this song on repeat. It’s haunting and beautifully executed. Maybe I’m a sucker for a well used synth, but combined with Lisa Lobsinger’s airy vocals, and you’ve got a song perfect for a roadtrip on a crisp fall day or a mellow night at home.

One eskimO. “kandi”

Just heard this song on Wednesday and have easily listened to it 200 times. I’m only slightly exaggerating. I’ve listened to it so much I actually wondered if it might be possible to wear out a YouTube video. As if the song isn’t addictive on its own, its coupled with a cool little animated narrative (which accompanies several of the songs/videos). I found a live version of the song and it’s just a solid. Also a true testament to the legitimacy of an artist. This isn’t just studio smoke and mirrors: they are talented musicians with strong voices.

Mooveez.

Get Low

As my husband will attest, it takes a lot for me to like a movie beyond 3 stars or an “eh” rating. Although I love a mindless popcorn flick or romantic comedy as much as the next guy, to really love a movie I need to be blown away. Get Low managed to restore my dwindled faith in the movie industry.

I can’t completely put my finger on why I loved this movie so much, but overall I think it was because so much was done right. The story and writing were solid, the acting and casting phenomenal. There were a few moments were I was certain the movie might “jump the shark” and fall to conventional (cliche) movie plot-pushing tactics, but each time I was pleasantly surprised that it allowed the story to continue unscathed. Robert Duvall and Bill Murray stood out for their performances, but that is not to say the rest of the cast didn’t hold their own. And truly, the costume and set designers should also be commended–everything felt so perfectly antiquated that you couldn’t help but feel transported. I’m debating seeing it again, actually, but I don’t want to ruin the way I feel about the film… we shall see…

Wednesday.

1. That I made it through the day. This might seem like a silly thing to be thankful for, but after stumbling through my sleep-deprived, zombie-like state, I was just so grateful to get done what I needed to do and not pass out from total exhaustion.
2. Ikea’s sweet tooth indulgences. I was exhausted, but also craving Ikea’s chocolate indulgence cake and Donnie was willing to indulge my craving. We made our way over the bridge for a healthy meal of mac n’ cheese and chocolate cake and then after walking around a bit, polishing off the trip with a cinnabun from the snack bar before heading out.
3. Getting a full night’s sleep. Funny how we take the little things for granted until we are without them… although I always love me some sleepy time, it’s so much sweeter when I’ve been without it for an extended period of time….

Thursday.

1. Phree Philly Phun. D often laments on missing out on the amazing line ups that The Alamo Drafthouse usually boasts, so imagine our excitement when the traveling roadshow announced a stop in Philly! We were sure if schedules would permit us to go, but we both ended up obligation free that night. We packed ourselves a picnic lunch and made our way to the art museum steps, where we not only watched Rocky I, II & III, with Chris and his cousin. It was a nice night, aside from almost getting jumped by 2 dirt bags who had been drinking  the duration of the 3 films…
2. Every month with Rachel Ray. It’s funny how a magazine subscription could brighten one’s day, especially when that magazine is Everyday with Rachel Ray. I’m sure I’m revoking tons of street cred by admitting to this, but I love her magazine. I always find good recipes in there and enjoy the articles. D picked up on my not-so-subtle you-should-get-me-a-subscription-for-my-birthday hints and kindly obliged. The first issue came in the mail Thursday and although I haven’t had the chance to look through it yet, I am looking forward to having some downtime this weekend to do so.
3. Bark if you love coupons. Petco’s been doing this online promotion/scavenger hunt thing which has including “daily deals” you can collect by checking out their FB and Twitter pages. I happened to be checking my FB right after they posted their latest deal: $25 off a $50 purchase. I immediately went to their site and bought $50 worth of Carefresh litter for the buns. Being excited over litter sounds pretty ridic, but considering how expensive it is and how good of a deal we got, I was kind of on cloud 9 about this one for awhile…
4. Accomplishment rears its handsome head. Although this was only the first step, I got our initial grant application materials submitted to get the ball rolling for having our buns in the local Petco store! The wait time is a bit of a bitch–about 4-6 weeks before they’ll green light us through to the next step–but once we get through this part, we’ll be golden.

Friday.

1. Flex time. Whenever I might feel down about my job, I am reminded nearly every Friday why it’s an OK place to work: On this glorious day, employees have the option of leaving at noon (as long as you make up the time during the week). How many other people’s jobs encourage you to extend your weekend?
2. Bonding with strangers. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who had a long week. After a little TGIF banter with the guy who works the front desk, I got on the elevator with two other women who looked as tired/defeated as me. The one overheard my conversation with the guy downstairs and shared her own excitement for the week’s end. The other women then chimed in and explained how she had left work early because she just couldn’t get through the rest of the day. By the time I hit the 5th floor, I felt comforted knowing that I had the support and sympathy of my fellow woman.
3. Nap time. After walking around exhausted for about 2 weeks straight, it felt so good to come home, plop down, and pass out the minute my head hit the arm of the couch. I literally had fantasized about that moment all week, and when it came, it proved to be as sweet as I had anticipated.
4. Surprise concert time. Although I was tired, I had wanted to check out the David Gray/Ray LaMontagne concert happening down the street. These two are some of my favorite artists, and although we had attempted previously, we never got to see David Gray in concert (I’m pretty sure I have seen Ray LaMontagne, but my memory is so shitty with those kinds of things and I haven’t really taken the time to investigate whether that’s accurate). I hadn’t bought tickets, a) because I’m cheap and b) because I thought I might be able to get them cheap off a scalper the day-of, especially because I didn’t expect the show to sell out.
5. 24-hour diner time. You would think that living in Jersey, finding a good 24-hour to call your own would be a cinch, but sadly most of these establishment now observe more conservative hours (mainly due in part to the clientele/crime generally synonymous with the late night hours).

Anyway, I’m exhausted and need to go to bed. Actually, I need to re-read my freelance project, but I think I’m going to have to just bite the bullet, nap, and get up at like, 4 a.m. Methinks any editing done right now might do more harm than good.

But before I crash, I post the 5 things I’m thankful for today:

1. Free margarita’s, the fuel for solving the world’s problems. I was invited to a little Groupon gathering at Q BBQ in Old City and Nancy was nice enough to come as my +2. We weren’t expecting the huge crowd, but we still enjoyed sampling the tasty food by local restaurants supporting the Groupon website and sipping on delicious margaritas while listening to some pretty chill live music (gotta love a Stevie Wonder cover band who’s actually good). The best part? It was totally free! It was also great to catch up with Nancy, but of course my self-imposed curfew was broken and I rolled in around 11:30 instead of the planned 9:30.
2. The kindness of ko-workers. My co-workers are always friendly and nice, but today they exceeded their general quota. After sharing some produce, one brought me a sample of the dish she made: delicious eggplant parm! My other co-worker, who I’ve talked about my yoga adventures with (and who tried a hot yoga class with me a couple months back), offered to give me the Groupon she bought for a 3 classes at a yoga studio in Vorhees because the exp. is coming up and it interferes with her marathon training. Hooray for unexpected acts of kindness!
3. Getting to catch up with some friends. You would think moving buildings meant I moved states, but sometimes it feels that way. Because the nature of my job/dept. is so much different than my former one, it can be hard to KIT. But today I got to talk to 2 friends from my former dept, one on the phone (yes, I called her, even though we probably were only about a 5-minute walk from each other) and one on a quick break from my big ol’ editing project. Although both were brief, it was nice to catch up and see how both ol’ pals were doing.
4. Coupons! As this post reflects, I am a total coupon whore, and sometimes the excitement of saving a couple bucks is enough to get me jazzed. Today D was able to run to Cutter’s Mill and take advantage of their 25% off coupon so we could stock up on stuff for the buns. Tre exciting, esp. considering the fact we were in desperate need of hay and CareFresh.
5. For the Love of Lionheads. Less than one week after we visited the PSPCA and were able to establish some networking connections with their staff, we got a call from them in need of some help: 25 lionhead rabbits were seized from one negligent home in Philly and they needed help finding them homes, or at least rescues (their shelter is not equipped for rabbits…). We’ve already been slammed with overcrowded shelter requests, abandoned buns found outside, and surrenders (the post-Easter madness continues…) and already have a”waiting list.” We really didn’t think we would be able to find anyone to take these poor guys in, but as of last update, we’ve been able to home/foster 9 of the remaining 15 (I’m guessing another local rescue was able to step up and take 10… I hope). Although I hate we have to do this, it makes me happy to know that there are people out there willing to help and who can make a difference. Animal rescue can be really tough, frustrating, and depressing, especially when one major bust can seemingly negate all your hard work. So it’s nice when you’re able to find more resources and expand the network of kind-hearted people willing to open their homes and hearts to a furry friend in need.

So, without further ado:

1. The generosity of family. Considering I currently have a bathtub full of produce (I’m not even kidding… my dad gave us three huge baskets of eggplants, tomatoes, watermelons, and cantaloupe, which we had to stash out of the reach of the buns, who were trying to claim the goods as their own by nibble the tomatoes…), D and I will not be running out of food options any time soon. And we’ve already made good use of the grub: tonight was mini pizzas with eggplant, homemade tomato reduction, and mushrooms (those were store bought), plus I made an eggplant casserole with spinach, mushrooms, the eggplant, parm cheese, and more tomato reduction. D sliced up some of the extra eggplant so hopefully I’ll have a chance to make some parm some time this week.
   We’ve also been paying it forward by sharing the wealth with friends… and if I can figure out how to cut up the melon, I’ll bring some in to my coworkers.
2. D’s knee is not broken. OK, we didn’t think it was actually broken, but I was pretty nervous at how swollen it was. He’s had on-again off-again problems with it for awhile, but this was the first time there was ever any visible signs of something being wrong. On Friday, he asked if his knee looked funny to me. Considering it was 2 times the size of his other knee, I said yes. I started him on extra strength Tylenol and glucosamine and chondroitin sulfate (here’s to putting work-acquired knowledge to good use!) and he was able to get a doc’s appointment for today. Fortunately, the doctor said it was most likely a muscle pull, so as long as the swelling goes down, he won’t need X-rays. Fingers crossed!
3. The help of friends. I’ve been working on all sorts of letters/stories/things that are in need of a 2nd pair of eyes and so many of my friends have happily stepped up to the plate for me. For this, I am forever grateful.
4. Continued progress with Mogwai. As previously mentioned, our foster came to us in rough shape and I really did not think we’d ever get him to a point where he’d be completely rehabilitated, but never underestimate the healing powers of TLC. That same bunny who would not let us touch him, is now letting us pet him and pick him up! Continued proof that a little love goes a long way…
5. The unexpected banuffin. D made a kick-ass batch of banuffins last week that were quickly annihilated. But while D was putting leftovers, he discovered the holy grail: one forgotten, uneaten, perfect banuffin!! (Yes folks, sometimes it is indeed the little things…)

1. My ability to see. All it takes is my annual trip to the optometrist and those god-awful dilating drops for me to realized just how truly lucky I am to have my vision and how much I take that fact for granted.
2. My David Bowie shirt. D got it for me a few years ago at Target because he knows how much I love Bowie (and it’s the “Live from Philadelphia” Cover), but could only find a size XXL. It’s one of those super slim girl-fit shirts, so an XXL isn’t a total dress, but it’s a bit too big to wear out of the house. Still, this shirt has become my go-to comfort shirt, especially this week.
3. The lunch special at Kabuki. 2 sushi rolls, a bowl of miso soup, and a salad for $8.50? Yes please! Not only is this a great deal, but the special runs ’til 3 so I can generally get here on Fridays. And even better? The sushi is super fresh and delicious (and their ginger salad dressing is AMAZING)! The only downside is that it’s kind of ruined me on my work time sushi  lunch spot because the food there is nowhere near as good.
4. The fact it’s Friday. I am so mentally and physically ready for it to be the weekend… I only wish that I had more down time.
5. A glass of water, with a ridiculous amount of ice. Sometimes, my friends, it’s the little things…

1. Although I miss Donnie tonight, it’s nice to have a quiet night at the apartment. I don’t feel guilty for sitting on the computer all night, toiling away at all of the random projects I’m trying to finish and I can also enjoy listening to the sound of everything around me hum along in imperfect unison.
2. Progress continues to be made on said projects. I still have my work cut out for me, though, but it feels good to be getting things done.
3. It’s finally cooled down outside and I got to feel the lovely evening breeze tonight. Although I’ll miss summer, that makes me look forward to fall.
4. Got the chance to briefly catch up with a friend today I haven’t talked to in awhile. It was nice to have a minute to recharge and relate to someone, especially because we haven’t had the chance to do that in awhile.
5. It’s almost Friday. w00t w00t.

Mogwai came from a huge angora breeder bust up in Canada where something to the tune of 100-200 rabbits were seized and were all in pretty bad shape. They spent almost a month in a shelter while rescues throughout Canada and the states scrambled to find room for them. Sadly, their time at this shelter was no better than their previous conditions: they apparently had not been sexed or properly separated, so many of the females ended up pregnant, and already poor health conditions (mites, eye infections) worsened without vet care.

When Mogwai came to us, his eye was so severely infected it was literally sealed shut with grossness. Our heaven-sent vet, Dr. Duggan, took care of him for over a week, treating his eye with antibiotics daily, until it cleared up.

The first 4 days after getting Mogwai, he hid–under the bed, in the corner behind the laundry basket. You barely saw this bunny. He was no more than a silent, fuzzy shadow, shaking in the corner. After a week, he began to peek out a bit, mainly looking to see if we brought food, but his interaction with us with limited and he was beyond timid. I seriously did not think this guy was going to recover from whatever trauma he had experienced before.

But, TLC and a haircut goes a long way, apparently. Whenever he could, D would hang out with Mogwai, making a little pillow bed on the floor so he could lay next to him or closeby so the bun could get used to people. We tried to interact with him and pet him while he ate so he’d be more comfortable with being touched (he would literally flinch if you put your hand up to him before. Based on the chunks taken out of his ears and the scabs I found on the back of his neck, it’s safe to say he had been pretty beaten up).

As time went on, progress was slow, but it was progress nonetheless. What wasn’t slow was this guy’s hair growth: being an angora, his hair is significantly long, and wild. He literally looked like Toto from the Wizard of Oz, but shaggier. I had been talking to Yvonne, the head of the rescue, about coordinating a time that I could bring him over to groom him, but our schedules weren’t working out. Although I was hesitant to attempt to cut his hair myself, I at least wanted to try to get the hair around his eyes, a) because I didn’t think he could really see anymore and b) if the hair isn’t properly maintained, it can cause an eye infection. I trimmed up that area while he ate, with little to no protest and felt better. And then I began to feel more brave…

Using the ultimate bribe of food, I decided I would try to trim the rest of Mogwai on my own. I wanted until D was working late because I knew he’d tell me this was not a good idea (there is a general house rule prohibiting me from using sharp things or things that omit intense heat), grabbed a handful of romaine and the trash can and set to work. I was happily surprised to see he was not resisting the haircut, but a little shocked at how infective my efforts seemed. Although his hair was shorter, it seemed like there was so much more still left. I didn’t press my luck though, and figured I’d try another day.

Since then, it’s been almost a daily ritual to come home and trim Mogwai’s hair. 4 days running and there’s still significant work to do in some areas, but his hair is now (mainly) SUPER short.  And oddly, the process has seemed to have proven therapeutic for me and for him.

I don’t know why I’ve enjoyed cutting his hair so much, but it’s a pretty fulfilling task, especially because there’s so much and it’s kind of amazing to see the results. It’s also pretty cool to learn how to (and not) to gain the trust of an animal, especially one who has trust issues. I’ve also learned which bribery tool works best for which function: romaine is best if I’m trying to trim his back and sides, broccoli if I want to work on his chest and face, carrots if I’m trying to do around the bottom and the sides and back of his neck. It is a science, an art, a crap shoot, and a labor of love.

It also has seemed to bring Mogwai out of his shell 110%. I don’t know if it’s the liberation of losing about a pound of hair or the extra interaction time, but he’s been much more active and inquisitive (for better or worse… he’s now beginning to chew). Tonight he followed me and D around, went into the closet, poked around at my hanging clothes and the shoes on the ground, nudged the hell out of us and explored the dirty laundry pile. Afterwards, I laid on the floor with him a bit while he ran around me, sniffing and hopping about my legs, and trying to dig at my slippers. He even did a few binkies! (for those of you not schooled in rabbit lingo, binkies = random happy bunny jumps). I was totally floored, but so damn happy.

This is a prime example of why I do rescue work and why it pisses me off when people guffaw at the idea of “rescuing” rabbits. In general, it baffles me how people do not understand that all animals–not just cats and dogs–have unique personalities and intelligence–and that they all are sensitive to the treatment they receive. I recognize and accept the stigma that comes with being an “animal person,” specifically the “bunny lady,” but I think one of the main draws to animals for me is their incredible capacity to overcome and forgive mistreatment and abuse. There are SO many cases of animals of all kinds who have suffered mercilessly at the hands of a sickeningly cruel owner/stranger but who have been able to be rehabilitated and bounce back from the abuse. They love unconditionally and the forgive unconditionally, too. These are traits I’m still desperately working on, but I feel like I’m getting closer, one binky at a time…