Alright, so, my reddit SS was absolutely incredible to me. I’m not sure what his reddit name is, but I was able to send him this message. I figure I’ll share it below so others can have a better understanding of how much this gift means to me, and why. Also note that I wrote a lot in my “About Me,” and only off-handedly mentioned loving to read/my books and wanting to switch over to a Kindle eventually. But that definitely wasn’t the lead in my write up, so this was beyond a shock to me.
Let me briefly explain reddit and what this Secret Santa exchange is for those who don’t know. To quote from the Wiki page about it: reddit is an entertainment, social networking service, and news website where registered community members can submit content, such as text posts or direct links. Registered users can then vote submissions “up” or “down” to organize the posts and determine their position on the site’s pages. Content entries are organized by areas of interest called “subreddits.”
For the past several years, they’ve been organizing a Secret Santa event, where you are paired up with a complete stranger who also has signed up to give a gift to someone else. You can be paired with someone from anywhere across the US, or internationally if you choose.
Also note that this gift exchange had a $20 limit.
I’m honestly not one who cries very easily, nor am I one who is generally rendered speechless, but your gift has managed to do both. You have no idea how incredibly touched I am by your exceptionally thoughtful gesture. I wish I had words stronger than Thank You.
I’m at a loss for how much of my personal story to lay out there because we are complete strangers, but this year has been an exceptionally trying one for me. I’ve been dealing with so many different life changes and transitions, and I have to admit, it’s been so much harder than I expected it to be. It’s funny because the older I get, the more dense, and complicated, and very beautiful, and very sad life can be. And despite all the sad and difficult stuff, I do still firmly believe that overall life is good, and all the hard parts are worth it, because most of the time that struggle gets you to the better parts, and without those fucking horrible ones, you really don’t know how good you really do have it.
But, that being said, I have been absolutely dreading the holidays this year. I think there’s some sort of strange bittersweet/melancholy aspects of the holiday already built in (reflections on our pasts, our presents, our futures and all that), but this year, I was reflecting very, very heavily on my past, and the things that essentially left me feeling very alone and lost in my present. And although these reflections have been really beneficial to me, they don’t make one really feel like decorating much with tinsel.
So I decided I was going to combat the problem by focusing my energies forward. I was going to make mix CDs and little mini packages for friends; I was going to donate more to toy drives for kids and make thing for work and social potlucks. And I was going to participate in as many Secret Santas as possible and try to come up with the most thoughtful and baller gifts ever so people could feel the way that I wanted to–special and loved.
I have to admit, it’s been an incredible fuel to help me re-channel my energies in a positive, productive way, but there are still times when I feel pretty bummed and alone. For example, when I was coming up with my “Christmas List For Myself,” I realized that I really didn’t have anyone to share this list with since there’s really no one with Special Person designation in my life right now who I buy gifts for/who buys gifts for me, and I didn’t want my family to feel like they had to buy me something really fancy. And so, in my head, I’ve been keeping this Christmas List for Myself, figuring that once Xmas was over, and I wasn’t putting out so much cash making sure I had all the people on my list coverd, I would celebrate Treat Yo’Self Day.
And the item on the top of the list? The item that’s sitting next to me right now.
I’m almost embarrassed I am at how happy this gift makes me. I feel like a little kid who secretly has been wishing for something, but kind of doubting Santa, only to have faith restored in the most magical way. I am a 31-yr-old adult woman, but I am literally crying with joy over having received The Toy That I’ve Been Wanting Forever. And honestly, it’s not just about Getting That Thing (although damn it’s awesome and I JUST WANT TO TAKE IT OUT OF THE BOX RIGHT NOW), but it’s more because this thing arrived to me by way of a stranger, who’s never even met me, (who, based on his town is Jersey is probably a Giants fan, which means by proxy of our locations in our state, means we’d be sworn enemies), who sent me an incredibly thoughtful gift for the reason of knowing how much excitement and joy it would bring to another person. #FaithInHumanityRestored. And for as much as I want to open my new, long-wanted treasure, I almost want to preserve it in the box so I can always feel this feeling of gratefulness and gratitude and belief in the goodness of others.
David, I’m truly not sure you’ll ever understand why this gift means to me, and how absolutely perfect the timing was. Thank you so much for being so incredibly thoughtful and kind. I never thought I would legitimately say this again, but I do believe in Santa.
With my sincerest gratitude.