I want to preface this by saying that my friends are brilliant, and although I wish there had been more submissions, I’m blown away by the 2 that did come through!
So here’s the back story:
Unless you’ve been living under a rock (and even then), you’ve probably heard about the ongoing implosion of Charlie Sheen. Love him or hate him, his antics and verbose psycho babble ramblings have made for delectable Facebook and water cooler fodder. In one such instance, I decided to post a mash up of my favorite quote as my FB status:
“I have tiger blood and Adonis DNA, motherfuckers.”
From here, numerous friends responded with their favorite Sheenisms, one which included “Can’t is the cancer of happen.” Another friend, Graham, noted that this sounded like a line from an e.e. cummings poem, which I thought was a brilliant and astute observation. This sparked an idea: What is we wrote our own “Can’t is the cancer of happen” poems, in the style of e. e. cummings. Submitters could either chose to focus their poems on the topic of Sheen and his antics, or completely divert from the subject matter while still using that amazing line.
I posted the challenge online, with a prize promised for the winner. Since only 3 of us had enough tiger blood running through our veins to take the challenge (myself, Graham, and Chris M.), I declare us all winners! Gentlemen, if you email me your addresses, I will send you both a special prize.
Follow the jump to read the poems… and if you’re feeling up for the challenge, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to submit your sheenism!
Alabama Foghorn: 12/12/1968
Impossible divinely darling Cans
floated from her feet to her waist to her hands
up-conveyed thence from her heart to her brain
chemically untaxed with thought or strain
of the negater of Can: not.
Of a concrete-rough malignant agent
she’s a victim now, without repent,
of the insidious cancer of Can’t.