So, I’ve been in a bit of a funk for the past few days. There’s nothing in particular that has me “down,” but I just can’t shake this overall “blergh” feeling.
I mentioned this to Jen when we were discussing tonight’s yoga class and she brought up something interesting. Apparently many yoga “first timers” or people who’ve been away from it for some time and go back end up experiencing these inexplicable dark moods. The thought is that you are working out so many physical and psychological issues that may have been dormant and they’re rising to the surface, forcing you to address them. I think this idea/explanation really makes sense for me and how I’ve been feeling. Bikram yoga is not just a discovery and challenge of my physical abilities, but it is a challenge to my mind and my spirit, as well.
Even more interesting to me is that I don’t totally mind my funk–I like the idea that I’m working through some things that need to be exorcised from my mind/body because I know all too well I have a terrible habit of dwelling. The only frustration is having to interact with other people who are not used to me like this and trying to “fake it” so not to cause any hard feelings or alarm. Especially when there’s “nothing” going on, it’s hard to explain why you aren’t you’re usually silly/goofy self (“But I’m currently experiencing a psychological transformation!!” is not really an easy thing to explain to a casual friend/acquaintance)
I had a nice little chat with Parr about her experiences with yoga and got some really good advice from her about focusing myself in class and not being too hard on myself for not getting it all on the first try. Story of my life: I need to remember to practice patience.
I’m also excited because Ali and Karen are also attending tonight’s class. So, with 3 friends going through the Bikram journey with me, I think I’ll be in a more positive and enthusiastic mindset than before!
In related, but unrelated news, the communal ladies’ room in my office has a switch for the light and switch for a fan (which I think above all is there to block out bathroom noises). Although I’m not particularly keen on everyone hearing my bizness, the horribly loud cranking/groaning sound that sound makes is far worse than a coworker potentially overhearing me piddle. (I say this is related because due to my extreme dedication to hydration for hot yoga tonight, I’ve had to pee about 2982982982 times and am becoming very accustom to the sounds of that fan…).