sweet baby Jesus, I am tired.

I knew this week was going to be crazy before it even started, and it’s definitely living up to the hype.

I have many wonderful things to blog about (a long blog on the Rally to Restore Sanity is forthcoming), but I just haven’t had the time to properly finish anything. Instead I’ve been ping-ping-pinging along from one responsibility to the next, reminding myself that I just have a couple more days and then the busy will cease…at least for a couple more days.

I’m finding myself to be rather obnoxious about my busy right now. I think it’s just because I’m so tired and haven’t been able to get decent sleep in oh, forever, at this point that instead of just taking a breather or attempting to cross one more thing off the “to do” list, I want to instead whine to anyone within earshot. And when people are readily available, I’ve made phone calls, but ironically everyone is too busy to hear how busy I am. Donnie is at work, the bunnies don’t have to act interested… and then I realized I have a blog, which means I have an audience of 3 who might make it all the way through this post.

If you’re still here, I thank you and I apologize all at the same time.

I find it hilarious that when I’m not under pressure, I constantly think I handle it well. “Well shit, I got through the last bout of insanity with flying colors–I can do anything!” Amnesia kicks in and I forget all my whining and sleeplessness and internal near-breakdowns. I’m hoping I don’t seem that disastrous from the outside, although I’m noticing that my patience is waning thin, which means my filter is even lower than usual. This is not ideal, especially when I have a 9-5 (9:30-6:30?) that requires constant interaction with people.

The funny thing is, most things going on right now are positive. I usually preface or follow my whining with, “I shouldn’t complain…” maybe I just need to start following my own damn advice.

Anyway, here are things that I’m excited for/happy about:

  • ‘Til Death to They Part. The moment we’ve all been waiting for is finally here–Jilly and Tim are getting married!! I remember fondly the days/weeks/months spent analyzing Tim’s every move, every word with Jill–trying to figure out if the two were doomed to a “just friends” status forever or if Tim would get his shit together. And he did!! I’m so excited to be celebrating the marriage of two of our greatest friends this Friday.
  • Never Forget to Always Remember. Next weekend is the Memory Walk at Citizen’s Park. As I mentioned before, I’ve been sooo incredibly overwhelmed and touched by the support that my friends have showed for me and my family in supporting our team for this event. Deciding to participate in this was not easy, for me or for the rest of my family–confronting the truth of Alzheimer’s and what it means for us personally is not easy, but the support of the people around us has really invigorated me. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about next Sunday (how the hell am I going to get through the whole day sans tears?), but I’m also really looking forward to the chance to meet other people who understand what we’re going through and to come together with my family and fight this disease.
  • You Are Free to Roam About the Continents. My brand-spanking new passport came in a couple weeks ago, complete with my new name and updated picture. I’m excited because this takes me one step closer to my Eurotrip this spring (now I just need the cash for my plane ticket!). I’m looking forward to being able to more seriously plan and save for this trip in the upcoming months.
  • I Got My Mind on My Bunny and My Bunny on My Mind. I love how Emma Bean will lay in front of my feet and nudge me for pets whilst I type on the computer. She’s currently grinding her teeth in contentment while I type this blog.

I hope this week is treating everyone well. Hopefully we’ll all be able to catch up soon. Feel free to leave suggestions for stress relievers (alcohol and cigarettes has already been tested).

2 thoughts on “sweet baby Jesus, I am tired.

  1. Stress Reliever Tip: force yourself to make time for yoga! Even if you just do a few sun salutations in the morning or before bed and remember to breathe!

    Have SO MUCH FUN at the walk next weekend! Wish I could walk with you! It’s ok to cry – feel inspired by the hope, not overwhelmed by the sadness!


  2. I agree, any kind of exercise always helps. I like to think of challenging times as the most defining times…anyone can keep it together when everything is easy. Surviving through the I-just-may-pull-my-hair-out-and-burn-down-the-office days shows you just what you are made of.

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