When they love you and they will, tell them all, they’ll love in my shadow…And if they try to slow you down, tell them all, to go to hell

The past couple of months have been such a crazy whirlwind, and although I’d like to believe that will slow down soon, with the holidaze almost upon us, so I’m finding that hard to believe.

Last week I was in Iceland. I still hadn’t fully unpacked my suitcase from California when I was prepping for that trip.

A part of me loathes the break-neck pace at which I always find myself going; a part of me cannot imagine living any other way. Don’t get me wrong–I live for the lazy days of bad TV and sloth-like activity, but I also find myself obsessively driven to do things, to go places, to see, to experience, to try, to explore. I keep thinking I’ll “settle down” soon and the itch to keep go, go, going will one day go away, but then I wonder if that’s something I really want?

This mentality/obsession with exploring/trying new things isn’t new–I’ve always had that drive, but I think it’s been amplified by my mother’s early diagnosis with Alzheimer’s. Everyone knows that life is short, and the time they have is not guaranteed, but I feel like that countdown is ticking even more profoundly for me–what if Alzheimer’s cuts the time I’m able to enjoy my life even shorter? I don’t know how many “good” years I’ll be guaranteed–maybe I’ll live a long, healthy life ’til the end–maybe I won’t remember my own name by 55. Who knows… but I do know that I want to visit every continent, and every state, and I want to take singing lessons, and I’d really like to learn another language. And I refuse to miss my chance on any of these things. So…full speed ahead, I guess?